Bake for Hope

It's true. I've been known to bake a pan of brownies and eat a pan of brownies. In a 24 hour time span.

Enter Bake for Hope - www.bakeforhope.org  and I have agreed to bake brownies, not eat them, and donate them to the Bake for Hope bake sale.  

I met Monica when she contacted me through my ETSY site. She asked if I would donate an apron for the bake sale. Which I did. We met at The Coffee Shop for the exchange of goods! She has this cute red Vespa she rides. Scares me. 


All of us know someone with cancer so it's easy to get on board with this cause. Wes was diagnosed with not just one, but TWO different cancers a couple of years ago. And if I think riding on a Vespa might be scary, I know when someone you love has cancer it IS scary. 


For months and months we went through the tests and recommendations and second, third, and fourth opinions; the surgery and recovery and complications and more surgery. 


Finally, good health. Wes has been lucky - blessed - taken care of by God. But it's been a rough ride and it's still in the back of our minds. He had a one year anniversary yesterday. (We ate cheeseburgers!) 


All that to say, not eating brownies so I can help with the bake sale to help with cancer research -- I can do that. 


"Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?" Job 2:10
"Though he shall slay me, yet will I hope in him;" Job 13:15

OPTIONS: I Like Options

We have lived in a few small towns: Edwardsville, Kingman, Payson. One of my pet peeves of small town living was the lack of options. I may not need some particular option, I just like knowing it's there if I want it.

Believe it or not this is the mural that was painted on my church building in Kingman. Actually, it looked wonderful - but you have to like a rural western town to enjoy life there.

In all of those places I was frustrated by lack of options. Like malls, coffee shops, good bagels and great fabric. There was also an undercurrent of frustration of options for me personally. I have explored a lot of education possibilities, work situations and places to live. Some might suggest I change my mind frequently.

But there have been a few constants: following Jesus, love for learning, writing, and must have creative outlet.

And of course coffee...and chocolate. Friends, and working out. So really, I'm not so wishy washy as some might suggest.

Some great new things are coming together where I will have those things I consider "musts". One is being accepted at NAU in a professional writing program and potentially pursuing an MA in English.

Next is the soon to start up online retail business with fabric, patterns and select handmade items.

You see, this is how God wired me -- to be creative, to like variety, and to share what's going on in my spiritual journey with others. Sometimes I get to find out what's going on in their's.


I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. Psalm 139:14

Hiking to the Promised Land

   Yesterday I was reading in the book of Numbers (Old Testament) and it finally dawned on me -- The Israelites were promised The Promised Land - but they had to fight for it. The  promise they received from God was not handed to them on a silver platter.
   So why do I think that something I believe God is leading me to should be easy? Because God is leading? I can't believe that yesterday was the first time I saw this so clearly.
   Some part of me has been thinking, believing, living as though life should be easy. That if God leads me into pastoral ministry - everything will work out just fine. It will be easy.
   Or, if I am married, have relationships with others, pursue an education or business - it will come easily.
   Maybe it looks like it is easy for some people - at least that's what I've thought. Now I am beginning to really grasp this idea.
   Yesterday I was hiking at Piestawa Peak - alone. My goal is to improve my time on this hike. It has taken me longer in the past but the last two hikes have been 45 minutes up. It takes Crystal 30 minutes.

  But that doesn't mean it is easy for her. She is young, strong, and works hard to make it look easy. And everyone on the mountain yesterday was working hard to get to the top. Some people turned and went back down. Others were running, but I noticed they were breathing hard, really hard. My guess is they felt the pain in their quads just like I did. And then kept going. Everyone at their own pace, struggling, putting one foot in front of the other, taking the next step.
   I realized that even when I could not see the top of the mountain - it was there. One step and one breath at a time I arrived.
   Reaching The Promised Land was no stroll through the meadow. Neither is reaching the top of Piestawa. But getting there is like a little piece of Heaven.

Leaning In

This week has been one full of reading, sewing, walking, and quiet. In addition to The Message translation of the Bible I'm reading: Invitation to Solitude and Silence, Failing Forward, and Mother Teresa-A Simple Path. I am learning something different but important from each one.

Invitation to Solitude and Silence by Ruth Haley Barton -- helping me quiet my mind and be in the presence of God without rushing, worrying, or telling God what I think he needs to know.

Failing Forward by John Maxwell. I've read it before and going through it again. That's either very smart or I'm a slow learner. Gleaning different lessons this time.

Mother Teresa - A Simple Path compiled by L. Vardey. This is the first book I've read about Mother Teresa and the Missionaries of Charity that she founded. Her work is amazing but it is "A Simple Path" that most intrigues me.
"The fruit of silence is PRAYER.
The fruit of prayer is FAITH.
The fruit of faith is LOVE.
The fruit of love is SERVICE.
The fruit of service is PEACE."

"Quiet Time"

   If you have been around the Christian church for very long you have heard people talk about "quiet time". Some may refer to this as "time alone with God", their "devotional time", or time spent in the "prayer closet". All good phrases and nice ideas. All constitute the idea of showing up to spend time with God. There are as many tools, ideas, suggestions, and recommendations for when and how you spend this time as you can imagine. I don't really have anything new to add. 
    I was just looking back at some of my journal posts from this week. By the way, "journaling" is very high on the list of things to do when you are having "quiet time". 
   Anyway, I was looking at my journal posts and see where I have chosen to make a deliberate change in my "quiet time". 

     I  invited God into my quiet space and sat with Him. It's a re-start. And I've said I want a do-over. 
   This is different than having quiet time, or reading my bible or praying or writing in my journal. This is quieting my heart, my mind, my actions and just resting with God. I symbolize the start of this time by lighting a candles. Symbolic of the Light of the World, bringing Light into my heart, God shining His Light on me. 
   First I take a few deep breaths. I hardly realize how shallow my breathing usually is and how often I'm not breathing but tensely holding my breath. Then     I specifically ask God to be with me - 

   Holy Spirit take control

   Take my body, mind and soul

   Put a finger on anything that doesn't please you

   Anything I do that grieves you

   Holy Spirit take control

(These are some lyrics from a song. I don't even know how I know those words - but that's where I start.) 
   As different thoughts enter my mind I just release them to God. I acknowledge them - yep - there's that fear, anger, hurt, frustration. And instead of dwelling, ruminating, worrying, trying to figure out the answer - I let it go. 
   And as my mind quiets I soak in the presence of God. 
   Then I read Scripture and read just to the point where God speaks to me. If you have "quiet time" you will become familiar with God "speaking" to you. For me it's usually just a strong sense in my spirit that God is pointing something out specifically to me. That's when I pause and just sit quietly with the Scripture. 
   
When it is time to close I pray. Ruth Haley Barton writes this:
   "Fortunately, if we have done our resting, things are starting to shift so we are getting clearer about what we want. In Elijah's resting, he gained clarity and resolve that had been impossible for him to find when he was desperately tired. This is true for all of us. Once we get a little rest, we start to get our perspectives back. Rather than reacting to everything around us, we start to have a sense of what is truly called for in our life." (p. 86) Invitation to Solitude and Silence

Weeds

resilience

the ability to recover quickly from setbacks

Today while I was busy with projects - and pulling weeds - I was thinking about whether I am resilient. 


Initially I thought I'm not all that resilient. I haven't been working in the area I want for a few years. It doesn't seem as though I am doing what I am "wired" by God to do.  


But does that mean I'm not resilient? 
No. 


I don't know anyone who doesn't have frustrations and setbacks and times when it seems as though nothing is going our way. Frankly, sometimes life is an out and out disaster. 


Being resilient means we keep going. I do that. I may not get it right all the time, but I keep trying. Some of the things I have intended to do haven't been done. But I am still in the game.  


I still know that I am going to continue to follow Jesus and help facilitate the spiritual journey of others. 


It's going to look different but the purpose is the same. I will continue to write. I will continue to look for and walk alongside those who are spiritually seeking. And I will be creative. 


Weeds and resilience have a lot in common. 





It's all in the roots.





Blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD, 

       whose confidence is in him.
He will be like a tree planted by the water
       that sends out its roots by the stream.
       It does not fear when heat comes;
       its leaves are always green.
       It has no worries in a year of drought
       and never fails to bear fruit."
Jeremiah 17:7-8

What am I doing?

In this book author John Ortberg poses the question:  
"What am I doing that I could not do apart from the power of God?"

It's a good question.
Ortberg suggests if you don't have an answer to that question then perhaps you are "seriously under-challenged".  Just think about it. How often do you (and me) tend to know (or at least think we know) that we can handle whatever comes our way?  Consequently we have a sense of strength and confidence in our abilities.

Until the bottom falls out.

Ortberg writes about the Apostle Peter and his walk on water. He speaks of the faith Peter had to possess in order to take that first step out of the boat. But because it was water walking, something we all KNOW we cannot do, Peter's faith had to be in Jesus.

He had to take the first step out of the boat before Jesus could lend his support, or help Peter actually walk on water.

Many artists renderings of this event place Peter sinking in the water. And he did.

But before he sank into the water - he had to step out of the boat and walk. Commentaries say that when Peter had his eyes on Jesus he was able to walk. When he took his eyes away and focused on his circumstances -- he sank. Peter is often depicted at failing.

I don't think so. Taking the first step is often the hardest. Thinking, considering options, making plans and setting goals - that's the easy part. Taking the first step - actually starting. That's the challenge.

Now I agree, taking the next step, and all that follow can be tough, too. Keeping my eyes on Jesus and where he is leading is primary.

Back to the original question -  "What am I doing that I could not do apart from the power of God?"

Looking at my circumstances, relying on God for direction, and finding the courage to take the first step in following him.